What are we thinking when we keep picking up the drink, snorting the drug, popping the pill or eating obsessively the sweets and carbs?
OR we have conned our self into believing that this is for sure the last and final time we erratically submerge into our addiction. Jesus, please save us all.
Recently I was at the airport with a patient headed to detox. The stares of all peers including children as this patient stumbled to the terminal. With wild hair bloodshot eyes and no composure she was a site for many. there were snickers, pointers and gasps. I wanted to fix this for her. I wanted to take the shame away, I wanted to tell them all to go to hades as they didn’t know the circumstances of this precious woman. They didn’t know her struggle, they didn’t know she was a mother, a wife and a daughter.
This is the compassionate soul that I have from within that drives me to want to give everyone who struggles with this disease a fighting chance for sobriety.
Truth be told, she won’t remember this day. She relapsed and has been on a 4-5 day binge. We even got to meet airport security before we boarded the plane. She decided to light up a cigarette in the bathroom stall.
I was angry with her and firmly reprimanded her but there in a brief moment I reminded myself of all the times I snorted the cocaine in the airport bathroom, heck all the times I snorted cocaine on the actual airplane. I was never brave enough to smoke in the bathroom, she has guts for sure and a part of me admired her, The thoughts move me in knowing this woman will be a beast when she gets sober.
She has the guts, and can be a lighthouse to other women sometime real soon.
I need her to make it to detox. She has claimed since I’ve been with her for over 24 hours she is ready to die. She has nothing to live for, she is done. She is doing her damnedest to kill herself with drinking the poison of this disease and I’m wondering why the hell why? I mean, I know on the surface why, as I know the struggle, I was there for more time than I would like to own.
What layer of onion has the rip, tear or mold attached? What it the underlying springboard sour grape that has tarnished her whole fruit bowl for the past 20 years off and on?
Where did it begin?
Who were the characters in the play of her life that turned on this disease?
What was the time of the time bomb of this explosion?
One of the most important end results of Intervention is to deliver a patient to treatment. Over the past 3 years I have seen that these precious souls are so, so much more than just a patient headed to medical detox or a recovery facility. They are a daughter/son, mother/father/grandparent/cousin/aunt/uncle/husband/wife or your best friend, partner or lover.
They are someone to somebody.
Gratitude doesn’t even seem to touch what I feel when I experience someone walking thru the doors of Recovery.
Whether it be detox, treatment, counseling, Anonymous meetings, it’s where the first step is taken to change. It may be the institutions, jails or prisons where they may begin the journey, and that’s ok, because they get the CHANCE to CHANGE. They get it! They haven’t died, still alive.
If I can relate any message to my families that I am so blessed to work with, it’s you, we, and they have a fighting chance!
I have experienced some really interesting interventions over the past few years, I had the runners, the singers, the drinkers, the “please let me smoke this last joint before I go”. I have also had the husbands who pull the darn plug on me right before we are about the make the move and get those bags packed of “honey you DON’T have to go” after we have spent detailed time of rehearsing NO COMPROMISE.
I am a all or nothing let’s get this show on the road girl.
Time is off the essence in this life especially the one of the client/soon to be patient. I am humbled every time to be asked to be part of the addicts, alcoholics and their respective families lives.
I remember sitting with a family and we all agreed we will kick him out of the house that HE DOESN’T pay for(but parents do) if he won’t go to treatment. All agreed and everyone on board. Well, the compromise then became one of I will go to a week long treatment and after putting that together it was, I’m not going, and I know you will do nothing about it. This was fact on his part, and only because the parents had their own issues of codependency and he knew at the end of the day they weren’t going to hold him to anything , especially since he played the card of his brothers death less than a year before.
After hearing back from family and they read some referred books about boundaries and codependency, the son finally got in trouble and was checked into treatment. Last I heard he’s still doing well. This is just one of the many miracles that occur when family’s ask for help!
I have babbled on and shared these experiences with you because YOU need to understand WE are all worth saving. No matter where we have come from, WE can RECOVER! Once we make the decision or our family has made the decision to help us see we can Recover, the future is ours!
It will take time to recover, but if we are willing we can live a Lifetime of Recovery, One sweet day at a time. May the angels above surround you all with hugs, kisses and lots of love, Amy C.