Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don’t change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan. ~John C. Maxwell
Plans of staying sober are at the top of my daily regimen. Helping others with their sobriety falls in my daily top 5.
Reading about a friend this am broke my soul. Literally felt the pain in my heart and gut. I met her in high school and she was such a beautiful girl and had a heart of gold. She was a giver, not a taker. She was envied by girls because her beauty came natural and behind that front of assurance was a girl, a girl who just wanted to be accepted and loved like any normal person.
Fast forward Christmas 2013.
She walked back into my life, I was working at a treatment facility and we went to meetings off and on. She was in and out of the being sober. Not 100% positive but if I was willing to bet, I would say drugs took a terrible toll on her and health. She was just in the store this past Tuesday and we were going to a meeting this weekend. I told her I was here for her but no excuses of NO Show. I think back and can’t remember if I hugged her neck or not. I know I was stern with her and like most people I work with they are telling me yes so I will shut up because I drill recovery in their heads even when they are walking out the door. Persistent and Consistent and yes, I usually piss them off.
This disease of addiction most people just don’t get that it is a disease. IF not treated properly it will eventually lead to death.
Over the past few months my heart has been torn with personal and professional relationships. I made some irrational choices which led to loss of material property. I didn’t use my spiritual guidance by following my soul and mind. I listened to my EGO. I listened to those who I shouldn’t have. I didn’t listen to who I should have. Consequences truly suck at times, but I own them because I own my faults.
The definition of stubborn is :having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.
The definition of spirituality :of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.
Spiritual Stubbornness is nothing but ego most times. Character Defect of mine. Although, I must say my stubbornness alone has kept me sober many a day…As well as I have seen the polar opposites in others, as they continued to abuse their bodies daily in addiction. The stubbornness can go either way…The spirituality too….
This year my resolutions are about simplicity, sobriety and of course growth with my spirituality.
Another life gone and even though we will go thru the motion of family mourning, funeral and burial, if we could just remember more than just the good times as we speak about at someone’s death…. But..hold on to the why’s of death, the bad, the reason, the demons, the addiction, the self-inflicted torture that this child experienced inside her mental crown.
Death should not be in vain. Yes, this may shake up a few people to put the bottle down temporarily. The arms may get a break from the prick, and our mental attempt at daily suicide with opiates, cocaine or meth may take a back seat because of the pure shock of death. Hmm… But….Will it be for good?
Ready, really ready to get SOBER?? What the hell? Why not? What do you truly have to lose…Well…. Your precious life…. What would you have to gain? Everything, one piece at a time. Will it be easy? Hell No. Worth it? Hell Yes!
Stubborn Spirituality….. Why? Is it worth it? Why fight when you can live. It is never, ever too late to change. God is with us all…..He has never walked away from anyone..It is us who walk, never him.
May the angels above surround all with hugs, kisses and love…Amy C.