~~ “Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” Barbara De Angelis ~~
Asking for help was a very hard thing for me, and I recently realized it is still hard now. The difference between then and now is that I am humble and realize that I need help. I need help every day. Everyone needs help every day.
I have experienced ups and downs since being home for this past year an addict or not, no one’s life is perfect 24/7 addict or not. It is how we handle adversity in our life is how we can define our character. I won’t settle for less than I deserve in life anymore. I am not speaking about material items, for we all know we can’t take anything with us. I am speaking about mental sobriety.
I won’t settle for others hurting my feelings or trying to invade my sober space. That is where boundaries come in. I suggest if you have never set a boundary you quickly learn. That is a major key to sanity. I am responsible for what I think, say and do. I accept full responsibility for my “side of the street”. It is my responsibility to keep it clean, no one else’s.
Guess what though? If I need help keeping sane, I ask for help. I ask The Lord, I ask family, I ask friends, I ask co-workers and am grateful for each and every one of them.
While at Alderson and in RDAP we met every morning before group. We quoted or statement to start our day off and ended with the serenity prayer. In that statement we said, “We are committed to being objective when learning about recovery and grateful to others for helping we achieve sobriety”.
That means that I am to be humble and grateful and honest about my daily life. I am to be open minded when others bring me suggestions about how they feel they can help me. If I don’t agree, it is my responsibility to be kind and tell them in a grateful manner.
That doesn’t mean I take emotional or mental abuse from someone who is manipulating the situation. That is something we as addicts have to be fully aware of.
We are vulnerable in the first stages of recovery. Guess what? That is why there are so many meetings and group opportunities for us to become involved with. ASKING FOR HELP from others who have been where we have been. It is our responsibility to ASK for help! No shame in admitting we make mistakes.
The shame and guilt will come when we don’t ask and screw up yet again! A sober mind is a beautiful thing to waste! Enjoy today, be honest with yourself and get help if need be! Quoting John Maxwell~Don’t give your fears any of your time or energy. Don’t feed them with gossip or negative news…Focus on your FAITH and feed it!~
Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid……Translation-seek advice and ask for help from those who are WISE in Sobriety and who have made an HONEST living!
God Speed, May the angels above surround you all with hugs, kisses and lots of LOVE…